Okay new plan

Yesterday....love was such an easy game to play... (stop it Beatles, get out of my head!) 

Eh hem!  Starting over. 

Yesterday... I cried.  Oh how I cried.  The tears started when I was half way home from my failed run and didn't stop for nearly an hour.  I was defeated both physically and mentally.

Running isn't fun when I can't do it for more than 3-5 minutes at a time before my tibialis anterior shin muscles cramp up with a burning, sharp pain.  Why would I want to run if it hurts so much?  I thought perhaps I should take up biking instead.  Or swimming!  Or any other lower impact "sport". 

How would I tell Terra?  She'd kill me!  haha  And Ragnar....I think Kelvin would kill me too.  He did say I couldn't get out of it.  ;O)

I didn't care how much money I'd spent on the races for 2011 though.  Or my equipment.  I was finished.

So where does this leave me?   Am I a quitter?  Yes.  :)  But not on this. 

Today I have a plan!  After a terrible night's sleep (blah) but then drinking a bunch of coffee (oh how I love thee Tassimo!  First a caramel latte then a triple shot espresso and now a double shot cappuccino...) combined with watching Doctor Who (David Tennant!  Four episodes into season 2 and I want to have his babies...) makes my brain start to click with a plan.   Oh yes, another ice fix this morning on my legs (shins, calves and achilles, oh my!) and some Doctor Hoy's pain relief gel definitely helped as well.

The plan:

Our bodies were made to run.  I just have 35 years of no running (well...pretend the Junior High and High School running years didn't happen) so of course this last year of running will take its course on my body. 

Why am I freaking out?  Yes my first half is 3 weeks away, but it's not like I can't take a little rest right now.  R.I.C.E.  Rest, Ice, Compression & Elevation.   I'm failing at the elevation...  But I have the other three down.  

• Resting = taking a few days off and then will start up again slowly.  Worst case scenario is I only get a 10 mile run in before the half.  I'm sure I can somehow push myself three more miles and just crawl across the finish line.
• Ice = We covered that.  I have lots of Ice Sticks in the freezer! 
• Compression = In a little bit I'll wear my compression sleeves but I have the Doctor Hoy's working right now. 
• Elevation = Hmmm, I could just put my legs up and make Josh wait on me.... *click click click click* 

I'm also taking low doses of ibuprofen and am working on my calves.   They are most likely my culprit.  Yes, I know, that doesn't make sense.   Shouldn't my calves hurt?  They do...but not enough to stop me from running.  However, they are She-Ra, Princess of Power strong.  Very tight and very strong - so much that when I run they tighten up which then pulls both my achilles and tibialis anterior muscle tight.   Hence the sharp, sharp pain that brings me to tears. 

I'm thinking of seeing a sports medicine doctor.  The issue there is I will only have insurance for two more weeks and then I start a new job with a 30 day waiting period.  So I'll look into it now but then if I can't get an appointment soon, I'll just have to wait until May.  That's not terrible.  As long as I can, hopefully, get this under control before I seriously hurt myself AND before the Ragnar in June.

Any suggestions for a doctor is appreciated.  :)   If it's pre-new job then I'll want to go to TOSH most likely.  If it's after...well, my insurance will change. So, I'll have to evaluate.

I know I need to shorten my gait, relax more when running and well...chill out.  There's also barefoot running...but the problem with that is it is a lot harder on your calves and arches in the beginning and well, that's where I'm having pain.  So that's for another year to consider. 

Where does this leave me?  Out of my double shot cappucinno but feeling more confident that this too shall pass.   And I'll be fine.  Right?  RIGHT?  Oh please be right.

Ow

I'm distraught!  The past three days I've tried running and every time both of my shins hurt so so so so so bad!  Not just a little discomfort, but a burning, sharp pain.  Today I made myself stay on the treadmill for 30 minutes - a combination of running until the pain was unbearable and walking until the pain eased enough to rinse and repeat.  But that only got me about 2 miles.   How lame is that?  Especially considering I am running 10 miles tomorrow!  Or I think I am.  *cry* 

I'm tempted to bundle up and run outside tomorrow.  But it's supposed to be rain/snow tomorrow.  I can't wait until Sunday because I'm on-call that day.  A 10 mile run will take me about 2 hours including drive time. Ya...and I'm also not going to carry my laptop with me for the run.  I have enough problems without lugging around that 300 pound rock (okay, no more than 10 but after a few miles I'm sure it will bring me to my knees).    I also don't think it's smart to run on a treadmill, seeing as three days in a row I was reduced to running tears.  There's no crying in running!   (At least where people can see...)  This is a tragedy! 

Come down from the ledge Melissa....

I am just a little panicky because the half marathon is in THREE WEEKS!   Yes, you heard right boys & girls, three weeks.  I'm trying to do everything right.  I'm stretching, doing strength training, using my foam roller, using my foam roller again, raising my running distance slowly and praying to the FSM for him to raise his noodly appendage and carry me just a little farther.  I'm even wearing my compression sleeves. 

My only hope is that it's the treadmill's fault.  Especially the ones at work that don't have nearly the "cushion" as the one I ran on this last weekend for 9 miles (mostly pain free might I add). 

If I survive the next three weeks, it will be a miracle.  Tomorrow morning I have my personal trainer appointment.   After that?  We'll see. 

Running, running as fast as we can

There's four weeks to my first half marathon of 2011.  I'm a little nervous.  As I ramp up my mileage, it's becoming more and more painful. I really hope I can stay healthy.

I'll be running 9 miles tomorrow -- I hope it can be outside.  Today was impossible due to the high winds so that's why I did the weight training & 5 mile run instead.  I can't stand treadmill running for more than 5 miles.  Plus I really didn't have time.  Then for the next three weeks I have 10 miles, 11 miles and 12 miles.  I'm a little tempted to NOT do 12 miles the weekend before the half and just do the 11 (or 10!) again.  I really want to be healthy for the half.  But we'll see how I feel.

After my half, there is NO REST!  *pray*  I switch to training for the Ragnar in June.  I'll start throwing in some days where I run three different runs.  (e.g. 5 mile run - rest for a few hours - 5 mile run - rest for a few hours - 3 mile run.) 

More hills!  OMG I need more hills.  *sigh*   My first leg of the Ragnar is 3.7 miles and steep.   I'd rather run a half marathon.  Thankfully (did I really say "thankfully"?) the hill by my house is amazingly steep.   So I'm going to start run/walking up that thing, turn around and come back down and rinse/repeat.  Should be exciting.  How did I say that with a straight face?

So that's my plan.  Yes, to kill my legs.  Oh no, I mean run lots.  After Ragnar, I can take a small (very small) break but there's still no rest seeing as I'm contemplating doing the Vegas Ragnar in October.  Oh ya, and a half marathon in October too that I've already signed up for.

What is wrong with me?

Changes coming to a Melissa near you

It is currently Saturday morning - March 12.   I say this because I won't post this for a few days but wanted to start writing now.

Exactly two weeks ago it was suggested to me that I apply at a new company doing somewhat similar work that I do now, but on a different scale.   To be honest, I had casually been thinking about applying for this position for a few weeks before but it was nothing serious.  I had no intention of putting in the application.  I'm happy at my current job. Yes there are things that are frustrating to me, but my overall job satisfaction is really high.  I love the people, the work I do, how good I am at it, etc.  And I know no matter where I work, there will always be the same or similar frustrations.

Then how did my life change so much in two weeks?   When Frances approached me that Saturday evening and asked about my interest it was like a switch turned on and I went from casual, not ready to do it right now to ya, what a great idea!  I talked to Jason (the person who is vacating the position) who said "hell ya" and to my husband, Josh, who also said "hell ya" and well...that was it.  I was in.

Sunday I sent in my resume.  1.5 weeks later I had an interview (Wednesday) and two days after that (yesterday) I was setting up the 2nd interview for this coming up Monday.  I'm still a little shocked by the whole thing. 
I'm very excited about it all!  I can't wait to learn more about the different vendors and programs they work with.  And I'm excited to go visit the hospitals.  It is definitely right up my alley as far as having quite a bit of variety in the day and tons of things to learn.

But I'm also very sad.  I really am proud of the hospital organization I currently work for as well as the program I work on.  I also will greatly miss quite a few people there.  Thankfully I will stay friends with them!  There's no way I'm giving that up.   Besides, I'll only be about 10 minutes away from my current workplace.  I also feel like I'm abandoning them when I am needed.  But at the same time, I know they can handle it without me and things will go on.  They'll be awesome no matter what and with changes that are being implemented, I hope they'll get even better.

Now I have to think about telling my team.  I don't want to give notice or freak everyone out until I've accepted the job from HR.  Seriously, you never know.  I think telling them is the scariest part.  I've already started thinking about how I'm going to transition things away from me.  One thing I really hope for is that I can tell everyone before we sign up for shifts in April.  I know everyone can split my shifts up and cover them, but I'd rather not have to sign up and deal with any of that.  I also feel bad that I'm going to leave them even more short handed.   But really that's not my fault.  We've had three open positions for months and they haven't been filled.  It's ridiculous.


***** Updated Friday, 3/18/11

Monday's interview with the CIO went great!  And well this morning I was offered a job with HCA!  Woot woot woot!  I start April 11 there - with Apr 8 as my last day with Intermountain.  The team has been informed.  Management has been informed.  And well...that's it.  Time to publish!

Running is a mental sport

This started off as a Facebook post, but then I realized I wanted to say too much.  So we get blogged!

I am sore from neck to arch.  The personal trainer worked my back and hamstrings and I worked the rest of my legs.  So there's very little on  my body that isn't at the very least tight.  If not painful.

My IT bands and glutes are hating me for sure.   When I walk I waddle.  But it's not just my IT bands making me waddle!  I had to tape my left ankle and right achilles last night.  It helped my achilles but not my ankle.  I think that's because it's not quite my ankle that hurts.  It's that soft "bump" that is on the inside of the foot.  I've done searches online and can figure out what everything is around that ... muscle?  Ligament?   But not what that in specific is called.  But regardless, it's strained.  And I don't know how to wrap it.  It's in between the arch and heel.  I'm sure it's caused by my overpronation.  Ice ice baby!  Took some ibuprofen already (which I'm NOT supposed to take...).

That was after just 8.5 miles?  Can't WAIT for the next 5 weeks!  Let's see....

March 19 = 9 miles
March 26 = 10 miles
April 2 = 11 miles
April 9 = 12 miles
Then...April 16, RACE DAY = 13.1 miles. 

AND THEN there's no rest for me because I have to start in on my Ragnar training.  *sigh*  Do I need to graduate to an ice bath?  Oh hell no. 

Then to make matters worse, I woke up this morning with a gravelly voice.   I'm on call and had to call a user and it was all raspy.  That's when I disovered my issue.  No pain, just lots of congestion I guess.  I took some Mucinex.  And I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to have my voice tomorrow.  No, raspy is not sexy.

Too bad I can't "roll" my vocal cords!  Speaking of...why am I sitting here when I can be torturing myself on the ground with my new foam roller?  It's twice as long as my old one though....wish me luck on finding room to use it.

p.s. Wow, this blog is super whiney isn't it?  haha  I'm actually in a great mood regardless of the pain and voice issues.  I am so much better than I was last year which is exciting.  Think of how kickass I'll be next year!

p.p.s. What is up with the ALLCAPS Melissa?

Tactile

I believe I'm a rare sort of person who is totally fascinated by touch and the texture of things.  I don't know many people who will sit there and get fixated on how something feels.  But maybe they don't admit it!  Or I think I'm more special than I am.  But the only other person I know who is like this is my friend Deb at work.

It's the feeling I get from the palms of my hands.   Perhaps I have extra nerves there?   I'm very sensitive to touch.  But it's so soothing and ... well, ummm...in many cases erotic.  Or something.  *blush* 

Some of the things I get attached to - my hair.  The left side and back.  I am always playing with my hair.  I'm surprised I have hair on the left side considering how much I twirl and pull.  It gets worse when I'm tired.  But I will do it any time - especially when I'm stressed because it calms me down.

Right now I am drinking a glass of wine and I can't stop lightly rubbing my hand on the top of the glass.  It feels so ... perfect.  So much so that this is taking me forever to type.  (This is what made me think to talk about this...)

My own skin.  Everything ... including my lips. Seriously - I'll be laying in bed, for instance, and will .... (oops, just paused to glass touch) ... lightly rub/tickle my arm or stomach which makes me feel totally content and relaxed.  Nope, don't need anyone else to do it.  Just me.   And my calves or thighs?  Holy crap, I swear I am addicted to them.  

You know those balls?  Or catepillars.  Or whatever shape they are and they have a whole bunch of individual ... rubber string type things on them?  Oh gosh, what are they?  A KOOSH BALL!  Thank you Google.  Man, you give me one of those and I will play with it for hours.   I'm all out of them too...I think it's time to get more.

Oh and other people's hair....  I haven't played with a head of hair in such a long time.   Unfortunately the hubby doesn't like his hair touched.   That's right, I did get an offer to hair play from my friend.  But alas, I never did it.  Too bad he just moved away.  haha  (To be honest, someone else's hair is way too sexual to me so I held back from that little experiment.  lol)

And if I'm walking around, I just have to touch things.  It's almost like I learn more by physically having some kind of contact with that thing.   Which might explain why I also do learn faster and better by hands-on doing things myself.  Someone lecturing me doesn't work nearly as well as giving me something to do myself.

Honestly, there's no point to this blog.  It's just my obsessing, as usual.  But really, you give me some soothing music (listening to Switchfoot right now) and a glass of wine and I'll fall in love with everything I touch.  Even if it's just my own hands and arms ... as the 5 minute pause just now was dedicated to.

Hopefully this isn't something like OCD or Tourette's.  :)   And I suppose I'm not alone.  But I still bet I'm much more tactile obsessed than most people.  I think I'll publish this post now so I can play with my glass more.

Ebook vs Paper

I have read a few books on an Ebook Reader over the last year.  But I've read many more paper books.  The thing I find pretty interesting is that in the begining of reading on my Sony E-Reader I kept trying to turn the pages.  Now when I read a paper book, I try to rub my finger across the page to make the page turn (you know, touch screen).  How quickly one can adapt to something new.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that I find the E-Reader a preferable way to get my read on.

I recently finished reading this month's book club book on my E-Reader.  The first one for book club on this device in fact.   The Aquariums of Pyongyang: Ten Years in the North Korean Gulag.  By Chol-hwan Kang and Pierre Rigoulot.  Excellent book by the way.  I was fascinated the entire time and learned so much!

This book made me realize the things I like and don't like about Ebooks vs Paper books.

Pros to Ebooks:
Fewer books on my shelves
I can't lose my bookmark!
I can carry multiple books with me at any time.
It has a stand
No papercuts (yes I can do this...)

Pros to Paper Book:
Just feels right to me.  Isn't that what everyone says?
So much easier to "flip back" to find something I've read and want to refer to
I get to use my favorite bookmark... (I have measured my life in coffee spoons - TS Eliot)
There's something great about a book you've read more than once - a "well loved book" is so much nicer to curl up to.

The "So much easier to "flip back" to find something I've read and want to refer to" is really the key pro to the paper book.  I was continually irritated in the Pyongyang book that I couldn't go forwards and backwards easily.  Like I wanted to go back and read something again that he referred to and I couldn't find it for a while.  And there were footnotes but the * and the actual footnote were pages apart so it was harder for me to reference things.  Oh and gee...sometimes it is way too sensitive but then not responsive at all.  So very annoying.

Plus I'm really good with a paper book at remembering something I read and being able to go find it.  Like when I'm sitting in book club and I think "oh yes, I need to find that section and read the quote!"  But with the ebook I won't be able to do that. 

So yes, I do prefer the experience with the paper book over the ebook. Regardless, I will still buy the ebook versions of books but definitely not with book club books.   But that's only to reserve shelf space for the books I really like.  Plus I kind of like trying out new things.  Makes life more interesting.  Next I need a flying car to try out.  *snap snap*  Make that happen Internet.

Although my question is, why are the ebooks the same price as paper?

Success!

Just got back from my Personal Trainer appointment.   It was measuring day.   Since I started this training with her 5.5 weeks ago I have lost 8 lbs, a total of 6.5 inches and 1.5% body fat.  Hell ya.  :)  And I feel it too!

Of course she's trying to talk me into signing up for another 10+ sessions with her.  lol  "Just think of how much progress we'll make this month."  Even though I know it's her sales line (she gets paid only if she has clients), I'm tempted.  I like having someone who MAKES me go through the pain of weight training.  And oh my... tonight my lower back and abs are so angry with me that I'm sure they're going to punish me tomorrow.  But it's worth it.  I know I won't do these things on my own.  I'd just keep running and not strengthening anything else or toning up.

Plus I can tell that my endurance and ability to do the exercises she puts me through are so much better than they were when I started.  In the beginning it was so painful that it was torture and during the session I'd curse my decision.   Now it's still so painful but I love every second of it.  Even the ab exercises.  *breathe breathe cry*

The goals this month are another 8 lbs lost (wow....I sure hope that's possible), a total of 20 workouts (did 18 for February) and get my running distance up to 10 miles.  If I lose the 8 lbs it does put me at my end of March goal which is XXX (can't you see behind the X's?  weird.)  I guess I'd better be more consistent with my diet if I want to hit it.  I didn't think  about how close I was until now.

I'm mostly excited to lose weight so that I can run better, faster and longer.  Hopefully with less pain on my knees too.  And once I get to my end of March goal, I'll only have 9-10 more lbs for my main weight goal before I reassess where I want to go.   But I am going to assume they'll drop slower since I'll be closer to my "ideal weight".   I haven't been below that number since I was a teenager so I don't want to give myself false expectations until I hit it again.  Although it would be rather nice to be able to wear a bikini this summer and not have to worry about getting harpoon scars.